*******
A Proposal
“Couldn’t you have found another program?” Liz rested her chin on her knees as she drew them to her chest. With her finger, she swirled the black sand at her feet.
Patterns of chaos mimicked the pinks and purples that bled from the sky into the water. The first sun was about to peek over the horizon. Liz watched as the water swelled across the distance, gaining momentum but not height, until it tingled their feet and fizzled away her marks. A small sigh escaped past her lips.
A BUZOT! from behind made them both jump to their feet. A thin stream of white smoke filtered through the sand dune, exposing a control panel. Salt mixed with burnt sulfur danced at the back of Liz’s throat and almost made her gag.
“Synbatec westopaneer tacise?” Matt shook his head.
“What?” Liz cocked her head and scrunched her brow.
“Synbatec westopaneer tacise?” Matt’s face began to flush. He fidgeted with the silver plate embedded behind his right ear. As his finger slid over the plate, the hologram squelched and flickered. He clapped both hands around his head and squeezed his eyes shut. “Fheskkha!”
Liz knew that pain all too well. Her universal translator was always on the fritz.
“Here, let me.” Liz scooted closer and took her tiny sonic screwdriver out of her belt. It clicked on and a blue light coursed with the high pitch whirl. She touched it to the plate behind Matt’s ear. “Now, keep talking.”
“Synbatec westopaneer tacise? “Synbatec westopaneer tacise?”
Liz upped the pitch of the screwdriver as Matt continued. “Synbatec westopaneer tacise? Will you westopaneer tacise?”
“Almost got it.” Liz hit the screwdriver against the palm of her hand.
“Will you westopaneer me?”
Liz added a second frequency and the screwdriver sung.
“Will you marry me?”
*******
300 words, excluding the title. I think I’ve covered all 5 senses. Did you know they were on a beach? It was morning? Could you tell Liz was bored? At first at least? And did you notice the stench behind them? And how about that ending? Was it a surprise?
Hope you like this. If you do, please vote for #62. And if you want to read the other entries, don’t forget to visit Rachael’s blog post. I’m sure there will be plenty more before the challenge closes.
Jess said:
Oh cool!! Great surprise at the end 🙂 Love the imagery, too! "chaos mimicked the pinks and purples that bled from the sky into the water." Wonderful line, there, I could really picture everything.I'm entry #5
Sheri L. Swift said:
Wow, how creative to use the words like that! Loved the story & the proposal! ; )
K.T. Hanna said:
That is awesome, hon. Vivid imagery, like I was there. Love this line: Salt mixed with burnt sulfur danced at the back of Liz’s throat and almost made her gag. Great work!
Christy Farmer said:
Hey Lady Jai-somehow I am thinking that he is a clone or droid similar to the Terminator. Good Job!
catherinemjohnson.wordpress.com said:
Awesome LJ!
Michelle Chaston said:
I like it, great job!!
Juliemybird said:
So, so cute. This got a big smile out of me. 🙂 I'm #66.
David Powers King said:
Now THAT was adorable! I want to know what the answer is. 🙂
S P Mount said:
Nice inventive and plausible way to use those words. Good job.
Angela Cothran said:
This was so unexpected. I loved the use of your words 🙂
Cheryl said:
Loved it! The ending was a lovely surprise too. I really enjoyed the way you handled those words, so original!
bridgetstraub.com said:
Nice. A very original take on the challenge. Mine is #56
Alyssa said:
Nice surprise at the end! Great job :DI'm entry #69 🙂
Ruth Hartman Berge said:
Very cute! I liked it! (I'm #75)
Maeve Frazier said:
Okay, so this is really good. Nice job!
Tara Tyler said:
how sweet!and i love the black sand!
Melissa Sugar said:
This is fantastic. What vivid details and powerful use of imagery. I love it and I was smiling when the translation was finally made, "will you marry me?" This is awesome. You write beautifully and with such imagination.I started blogging late and I missed the deadline to join this campaign. I have, however enjoyed reading the entries.I am a new follower and very happy to be here.
Joanna said:
Very creative interpretation, love it!
Jen said:
I love what you did with the challenge words, and also the twist at the end. Great job. Mine is #25.
Cheryl said:
Hi Jai, I am here to let you know I am one of the first round judges and you made it through to the next round. Well done!
mish said:
Great take on the prompt! And congrats on making it through to the next round!(My entry at no.#47)
natz said:
That was a nice twist 🙂
Medeia Sharif said:
That ending was awesome. I love how you used the words for a technical problem.
mooderino said:
Sweet story.mood(now following)Moody Writing@mooderinono. 79
LadyJai said:
Thank you all for your wonderful comments! And what a wonderful surprise from Cheryl! Thank you so much for moving me on to round 2! Here's hoping!
kmckendry said:
OH I wasn't expecting that! Great job!
Grillyfish said:
Brillaint entry Jai and congratulations!!! 😀