I’ve always wanted to write my own novel. But when I sat down to really do it, I’ve always started and got so discouraged as to the “how” of it. And because of that, I’ve shied away from writing a novel since I started back writing seriously in October 2010. My main focus has been short stories and flash fiction. I find these a lot easier to do and they’ve been comfortable for me.
But since (virtually) meeting a very good friend (KT Hanna) I’ve made the decision to really tackle this fear. I’m determined to overcome it. But over the last 3 weeks, I’ve just been so lost trying to outline the novel, answer questions I have no idea of the answers yet, and just trying to write it. I’ve read so many pages, articles, blog posts and listened to other people’s tips on how they outline their book. This has been overwhelmingly discouraging and that whole writer’s conscious kicked in a few days ago. I became really depressed and distanced myself from everything. Almost giving up.
What kept me going though, and got me through the negativity was remembering the saying — “Never give up” and also my post about the Epiphany I had on negativity. Everything is a conscious choice. I went to bed that night, praying, thinking, and hoping…despite the depressive state I was in. The next morning, I woke up. It was a new day, and I made the decision to overcome it. There had to be a way FOR ME that would work FOR ME. Everyone else’s ways were just not working. I made a tweet about it:
This was my changing point. I made the conscious decision, a conscious effort to do it. I was determined. I sat down that day and wrote a “summary” of sorts, of how I wanted one of my novels to go in my head. I wrote about 2300 words of it (without the ending). Now that I have it’s path written, I can continue with the story. I think.
I’m still struggling with the beginning of it, but it is the first draft. I need to kick my internal editor in the ass and keep him locked in a corner somewhere. I just need to remember to get the words out and then things should be able to flow and eventually I’ll turn those 2300 words into a 90,000 word novel. At least that’s the plan.
Now, I need to do something like that for my first novel I’ve got in my head, but creating a whole new world, with a back story to interject the history, sure does take a lot of time. I think this form of summarizing will help me get an idea of how the story is supposed to go. I can use it as a backbone that can change as I find the answers that I need. But sitting down and writing that summary seemed to get my brain cranking, the story flowing, and I feel 100 times better than I did that day I wanted to quit.
I’m still feeling the love of #WriteMotivation, even after 3 weeks. I’ve met some great people and their support has helped me tremendously. KT has offered to continue the hashtag indefinitely as well as having Goal-Check’s every other month or so. If you are interested, please follow KT Hanna and sing up. It really is very beneficial to keep that writer’s negativity at bay. Here’s hoping we can continue this love and support throughout the years to come.